Dear honorable Judge, I stand before you today to defend myself against the accusing statements on the three little pigs. They stated that I was trying to eat them, but I was really trying to just talk to them. I already had my meal so I wasn't hungry. I have been chasing them and wanting to get in their house because I wanted to have a word with them privately. Ok I admit I was going to beat them up a little bit, but they were annoying with words keep saying "Who's afraid of the Bid Bad Wolf" while they really are. So they were keep lying and lying and somewhat, they are stupid. I was not planning to harm them if they had stop offending me with those ridiculous words, since I am the strongest in this neighborhood. This you have got to believe your honor. Lastly, the reason I blew the house down was because they didn't pay for the fee of building a house on my ground, so I had no choice to blow it away. That is just a natural law so I believe that they can't accuse me of that.
Oh dear honor, this is just how nature is. It is wrong annoying the strongest of the land they are living in and it is wrong disobeying the law of paying the fee for building an extra house. I know I could have settled things differently, but can you let me go just this once? It's not like they didn't do anything wrong either. I shall promise on my honor that I shall be more calm about these situations next time and that I shall not harm these poor three little pigs ever again unless they promise to live without disturbing me and continue to follow the law of my land.
